Monday, 9 December 2013

True Friends

I've written posts about friendship in the past but I felt inclined to write this, sitting here at 1am on Saturday morning. I've mentioned before that I don't consider many of my 'best friends' from five years ago  my friends anymore and I'm often left wondering - is there anything I could have done  differently? It's been a hard pill to swallow but no, there isn't. I've come to realise that in fact, most of the time I was being treated like a mug.
Everywhere we go in life, we make friends. School, work, hobbies. I can count on one hand how many people I keep in contact with from school and my jobs collectively would be the same - whilst I keep in contact with the regular customers down my local where I worked for 3 years, I barely speak to old colleagues - yet we were all so close at one time.
I know that some of this is because I've settled down with Steve and we've got Jack, plus money is sometimes an issue so we'd rather stay in and watch a film once Jack's gone to bed than piss our money up the wall but I've tried to make the effort with these so called friends and now I'm giving up. Why should I still be doing all the legwork after all these years?
This is why I'm so grateful for blogging, I've met some amazing people whether they are parents or not. I've even had the chance to meet many of them and have plans to meet more in 2014. Some people consider the blogging community as living in your own little virtual world.   It's funny because the people I've met and made friends with are far more in tune with the real world than those friends in the past that refuse to grow up.
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Sorry for the rant - it's just something that's been getting to me recently. I've been trying to declutter the house and found myself going through old photos; now I come to that point: do I throw the photos away and thus throw away the memories of times we enjoyed or do I keep them and have them serve as a painful reminder that I can no longer turn to them anymore?
What do you think?
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14 comments:

  1. i lost touch with most of my friends when i moved 50miles away, i have made loads newbies but i wish i had put in more effort at maintaining my pals when i moved :(

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  2. I think it's all part of growing up. People grow apart, priorities change, and personal circumstances have a way of weeding out who should and shouldn't be in your life. No need to be hard on yourself. In some cases, sometimes friendships are just for a season.

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  3. I can identify with this post in so many ways! I think Facebook makes growing apart so much worse, but having bloggy friends really does help.

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  4. We're all the same - you're close to school friends, then work colleagues and so on and then when things change you drift away.

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  5. i have lost touch with a LOT of people (you already know this) by moving three hours away from them all. four years later and I am literally craving the company of a very small group of people back home, it is enough that we have made the decision to move back in the new year. It surprises me that none of the people i am finding myself missing are the ones i was closest with before I left, in fact they are people I worked with but didn't see outside of work, and people, like you, that I had lost touch with well before moving!

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  6. I am still in touch with most of the people I was at school and Uni with, that said I don't see them often enough, life gets in the way and we live too far apart, a good few hundred miles anyway. It is sometimes good to de-clutter, I am forever doing it and I have a memory box that I keep things in too, sometimes it is nice to remember x
    Beautyqueenuk xx

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  7. You are not alone in this. My best friend at high school was a good friend at the start, but she then dropped me completely whenever a new man was on the scene and then when the current relationship ended after a couple of months, she wanted to drop what I was doing and go out with me every night. I met a new group of people in my early 20's and found the confidence to not put up with her behaviour. She got narked off and that was it. I can count my (good) friends on one hand, but I would rather have quality over quantity!

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  8. Couldn't agree more - I find that my blogging friends care more about me than my supposed friends i've known for nearly 9 years. You lot are so wonderful and welcoming and I don't know what I would do without you. You're a lovely person Bex, you're better off without them =) xo

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  9. I know what u mean x big hugs x

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  10. Facebook is great in bringing people back in contact. Drop someone a line - once a year to see how they are. Doesn't take long.

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  11. I totally agree! I often find myself reminiscing about once great friendships that have fizzled out and wish I'd done things differently or stepped back and seen the friendship in a different light. I guess life moves on, people change and things happen...

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  12. I've not got many friends left from school and those that I do have are people I still chat to from time to time on FB but never see. My absolute best friends are people I've met away from school and work and met via the internet due to similar hobbies/interests etc as well as people that I've met through them too. The internet helped me meat my very best of friends (some by proxy) as well as my fiance - It can do fantastic things.

    I'm also starting to discover that I am making some lovely new friends through blogging, and blogging groups too. I used to have a network based on us all having had our babies in the same month but that all broke down and I missed that community feel - It's really starting to come back now that I'm blogging and talking to people this way.

    Friendship is a darned funny thing... I've a lot of people I miss, and a lot of people I'm still baffled by/angry with due to their decisions. But throughout the times, there's a few that just sort of stick on and last for a very long time - Thank goodness for that.

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  13. Lovely post ! I don't have any friends left from school and have only a few now from other avenuesi got fed up with the group of friends I did have all they wanted was too get drunk. It got to the point where I'd arrange to go to the beach or have a BBQ and they would come and after half an hour the conversation reveolved around going out.

    Then before you knew it the event was over and we were back sat in the bleeding round about pub great meeting place' NOT

    Ha ha you have me ranting! Blogging has given me that social outlet I was desperate for.

    Thanks for sharing

    www.daddyspace.co.uk

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  14. I've been in that situation too...there are those who I have considered as "friends" and they were always with me in times of happiness..but were absent when I was really down.

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